Book Excerpts- Short Reads
Stress Management magazine Articles

 

Do you hate to go in to your job and only wait until you can leave? Find out how to turn it all around: learn to identify and remove your resistance to people and assignments and watch the day fly by..........................

 Here is a link to a book excerpt on not trying to do everything, or expecting anyone else to be able to do everything.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Lifetime-Fitness,-Mental-Wellness,-Work-Stress-And-The-Rule-of-This-and-That&id=2067060

Below is another book excerpt about confronting your fears--happy dragon-hunting!

 

By author Patrick Mason, abridged from the award-winning book   “Making the Job Work for You”

Challenging the Fear-Dragons

Psychologists tell us there is usually one strong, predominant fear that drives us to our eccentric behaviors. If we want to become more positive in what motivates us, we have to muster the courage and conviction to confront our fears. Most types of stress are borne out of some fear. The more we feed into our fear, the more easily we are stressed. It is the fear dragons deep in our psyche sending out the negative self-talk, the demons of self-destruction always telling us we are inadequate. Many fears are the result of some idea where we are lacking; be it money, time, good looks, worthiness, whatever. Let’s look at the common garden varieties of fear and see if any feel familiar. Note: To prevent this topic from becoming too serious, I have added humor to keep it light, treating our fears as wild dragons being turned into pesky little house pets.

 Well now we know what to look for. When we identify our own “inner dragons” the whole dynamics shift; the exposed fear loses its grip on us. Realizing the fear-dragon is something we generate, we empower, is a turning point. In the light of self-awareness and a non-judgmental attitude, the valve is opened and the ego-generated fear dragon deflates like a cheap pool float. Another avenue is to simply give up the struggle by trusting-- in God, the way of nature, something beyond ourselves. The trick is to find our dragons without judging ourselves, and look them right in the eye. Then we realize the majority of our negative self-talk is unfounded. No matter which species of fear drives us, self-acceptance becomes the turning point. Once we change our view of ourselves, changes for the positive will occur naturally in our lives. 

 

 One interesting but dangerous dragon is a particularly self-destructive brand driven by an unusual fear: a fear that life is not worth living. Trainers tell us these animals should be approached cautiously; they can be unpredictable, taking senseless risks or overcompensate by trying to control every outcome. Because they will sacrifice themselves they make great watchdogs and soldiers but—they can also turn self-destructive, to the point of taking their own life. They are best domesticated by a combination of gentle physical strokes and continual affirmations of their value to others. They don’t do well if left alone for long periods, falling into introspection; it is recommended to always get two for company. They are happiest when fed a diet of meaningful service jobs with high amounts of physical activity

Opposite the self-deprecating beast is our most prolific species, the alpha- Righteous, making magnificent, wing-beating displays of utter self-confidence. The main driver of this species, although it can be difficult to observe, is a fear of being judged. They live by their own set of rules and become fiercely aggressive when questioned. They easily attract mates, quickly taking alpha (lead) positions in the herd. The downside is an ugly arrogance, evidenced by a lack of respect for peers. As this is not a socially acceptable trait, it will be suppressed in social gatherings, but it is a defining characteristic of the species. As this dragon ages, it loses its dominance; only after it is humbled by time can the adults be domesticated. In captivity they require periodic doses of insight; if not added to their diet, they revert to regarding kindness and compassion as weaknesses, and become quite ornery

 A dragon that is very prevalent but rarely seen in the wild is the self-deprecating dragon: they are driven by a fear of not being worthy. Because they don’t feel worthy of being loved, they are known for roaming far and wide searching for new mates. They are shy and avoid the light, rarely observed in the open. Because they don’t believe in themselves, they don’t respond to attention or praise, with a secondary aversion to public exposure. The adolescent of this species has been known to eat their own tail. When challenged by something new, they spit out “I can’t” thoughts faster than any other dragon. In a heavy forest they blend with surroundings to become invisible. If patiently fed doses of the same gentle, unconditional love, their own self-respect, and their tail, begins to grow back. Easily domesticated, they can be good servants, trustworthy, and work very hard for their owners.

 Dragons with the most developed front legs are usually those of stubbornness; they have an innate fear of any kind of change, using their powerful shoulders and front legs to resist being pulled or led anywhere new. On the plus side they are determined and have great persistence. The flip side is obstinate, inflexible behavior and rigid attitudes, evident by the walls of stone they build around their nest. Once captured and accustomed to a cage however, they are reluctant to leave it, forsaking the freedom of the wild for the comforts of the home and what is familiar

 Next we have the saintly dragons of martyrdom, animals who piously believe that they are the only ones afflicted. Their cry is loud, piercing, and can be heard in the night from far away. While they are very generous and put others first, they are also bent on self-destruction. They are easily trapped when baited by issues of fairness and equity. It is not easy, but these animals can be tamed by surgery, cutting away the heavy eyelid that prevents them from seeing the similar predicament of others.

 Another dragon is impatience: the fear of never having enough time. This dragon is in a constant race to beat death, because death means they can’t get anything else accomplished. This dragon drips with anxiety and a do-it now urgency. On the plus side this behavior gets an unbelievable amount of work accomplished. The down sides are the internal damage any delays can do to them, and the ugly way they treat people who get in the way of their goals. The prescription drug for this species is a lifetime supply, 3 daily injections, of now: if they can continually be made aware, be pulled back into existing in the present, rather than obsessing on future (incomplete) accomplishments, they can be properly domesticated, but still require their shots

One very common dragon-driven behavior is endless greed; it comes from a fear of never having enough. This type of dragon is quite prevalent and feeds an insatiable drive to acquire money and material things. This dragon works way too hard and loves to hoard things. They can compensate with a great zest for life. It may take years, but they can be domesticated by telling them over and over that God has given them everything they need to be happy in life, that their job is to share happiness, and all of their stuff, with others.

 

Further Reading: A recommended book is called "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway". It is also available on CD's for home or drive time listening.

The author has studied fear and boils it down to us not being afraid of the object  or situation that elicits our fear, only of OUR ABILITY TO MANAGE the situation; once we feel we can manage an undesireable situation the whole perspective changes.